After seeing M and D for drinks last Saturday, I went to Cubao to meet up with BK. I hated it the moment I stepped outside the cab. I realized I didn’t want to talk to anyone, only leave. Or rest my head. I saw BK’s ex and our sometime-friend; I saw the boys laugh at Nn/L, teasing him about his hooligan ways and competitiveness. For a moment, I was tempted to join them. But as soon as I thought about it, I felt exhausted. 10 years tired. Mndst and Mbn came by and I thought a fight would break out, it didn’t. They gave me v’s and I said goodbye to them. I saw BK’s ex trying to talk to him privately, BK shrugging her off;I stared openly at her until she was uncomfortable.
"What were you guys talking about?"
"She’s just asking for attention. She doesn’t know how to have a conversation."
I asked BK to take me home, I couldn’t stand up anymore.
I don’t know if it was the Mcdonalds, D, but I felt really sick after separating.
Going outside has become physically painful. I’m repelled by the people I keep running into. I don’t want to do this anymore.